And...a Better Sunday!!

I've had a tough weekend. Both emotionally and chocolately...lol. I'm more than sure there is a definite correlation there.

A friend of mine lost her baby this week 8 weeks into her pregnancy and I feel extremely incompetent as far as the advice I was able to give her..which was none. I just can't fathom going through that...and it made me so so sad to see her so upset and angry..but I know it's part of the healing process so I just needed to give her some space and let her get through it. (But you all know how MUCH I need to be able to fix things)

My brother isn't doing so well. I got a terrible text message from him today that is too personal to even get into with you, my faithful amigas. Another situation that I wish I could wave my magic wand and fix....another situation that I need to sit back and let him work through.

My quote on the espacio this week was "sometimes there are no words, only prayers"...it's so true. And this has been a day of spiritual awakening. And on Resurrection Sunday, my faith in Creator is rejuvenated and my belief in the promise that we will never get more than we can handle has been renewed. I don't always get things, but I don't need to. All I can do is try to be a good example and a good friend to those that need me to be, knowing that I don't have to beat myself up if they don't walk away from me with all their ducks lined up in a row.

And so tomorrow is a new week. And my goal of 10 more pounds by 4/12 is starting anew. I have called out my comadre to join me for this week and we can be really great motivators for each other when we want to be...:-) The good news is that I got rid of the weight that I had gained back last week during my sleepy days..so here we go....JOURNALING, MORE EXERCISE and COMMITMENT are here and HERE TO STAY......I'm going to try to blog every day...just like when I hadn't gotten a call from my brother in 2 weeks-if I disappear, I'm up to NO GOOD so check me ya'll!

Happy WEEK!!

Good Friday

This has nothing to do with fitness or being healthy except that it has majorly affected my mental health for the day.

I called in to work because I didn't realize the girls had an inservice day today. So I called in to stay home with them. We had a busy day planned, part of it including a picnic at the park. Suddenly I get a call from a coworker/friend. She asked if I had talked to BB (my sister--yes, we have the same nickname..lol). I said no and asked why. She said there was just a fight right now so maybe call her to see if she's okay and not too stressed. No big deal. Sadly, it's not a school day if there isn't at least one fight. But I call her and she answers the phone, her voice shaking. I asked if she was okay and she said she had just gotten socked in the face trying to break up a fight. I said wait..who's fighting. And she said EVERYONE B, everyone! The entire quad had small groups fighting, objects being thrown, word was that a a knife was pulled out, there were about 20 cops there. I asked her if she wanted me to come in and she said I gotta GO as they called her on the radio.

Now if you know me, then you know I threw on the closest real clothes I could find, and left Mickey in charge and drove to school. What I saw was surreal. The entire campus was clear, seriously with our truant situation, that is not normal. But the parking lot was strewn with cop cars. And they were parked all crazy like they had just pulled up and run out of their cars. I walked towards my office and saw a small group of students near some officers, yelling at some students in a nearby classroom, calling them out to fight. With a quickness I left confused, baffled, nervous mode and hit mean, tyranical mom mode.

I yelled at the kids outside to not make things worse for themselves and went over to that classroom where of course, a sub was present (no offense Gina--it wasn't a YOU kind of sub). When I walked in, the kids had torn the classroom apart and the sub said they had been banging on the door, windows, screaming yelling, etc. I told her just to give me a list of the parents that i DIDNT have to call and oh man I went into hurt your feelings lecture mode. I told them who do you think you are to disrespect this school, this classroom, these teachers and officers this way? Would your mom like it if I came to your home and tore it apart? You kids think this is the real world you're in in here and that your a bunch of bad asses. You start fights with each when there's cops & teachers nearby because you know they'll stop them. You're not going to do anything so stop playing the role. Yes, you're stuck inside for a ridiculously long time. Yes, you're being held because of something you didn't do, but your reaction to the situation is up to you and you failed miserably. You are not 3 year olds who can't be trusted to behave like respectful young people.

One of the kids says, but we didn't do nothing. I said doing nothing..in this situation is as bad as doing something wrong. If you're not helping the situation, you're making it worse. I am giving you 3 minutes to get this room back in order and those that get up and do SOMETHING will not receive a call home from me. They all sat there and stared at me. I looked at them and semi-smirked and said, ya, you guys are right....YOU are the young people who are happy to "do nothing"...BOOM they sprang into action and fixed that room from top to bottom. I told them that if I heard one more SOUND from their room, their parents would know of the situation before they even got home. When that poor sub left she was shaking. She thanked me for helping her and I apologized to her for her welcome to our school.

In any case, from there I had a version of the Breakfast Club in my classroom so I had to supervise them for 5 minutes and then escorted them off campus. The entire school was on Code Blue (look it up. lol) and it took about 45 minutes to completely evacuate the school. I'm telling you, it was madness. And I am carrying a huge amount of guilt for not being there to help my sister when the initial riot broke out. After school she thanked me for coming. Come on, how could I not? Mickey said that he feels God kept me home with them to protect me. I know he's right but I still feel bad about it. The good thing is she got a lot of praise and recognition for her role today which is great because she's been so shaky about being in the position as campus monitor for the last few weeks. She is just subbing until the end of the school year but I think she proved that she can handle herself. I'm very proud of her!

Good Friday. I know today is nothing compared to the sacrafice that was made for me during Good Friday. It is only through my faith and the ultimate example of compassion that I can try to make sense of what moves young people to behave in such a destructive, hateful manner. I need that faith to continue on and not punish every child for the mistakes of those before him. I know they are lost and I am so grateful that I do not have that lost feeling myself and am raising three young people to have that feeling of security and love in their spirituality, each other and their culture. Come Tuesday of their return, their slate is wiped clean and I will look at them again as what they are...children.

And to end all this rambling with the song that brought me to weeping tears during Good Friday service tonight...

Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost,
but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.

I need a GYM!!

No seriously I do! My boss and I have been trying to get a free membership to her daughter's gym for a month now. Our schedules suck! We're like an old married couple trying to come up with a date for a date...not one day matched this week. ARGH..I'm tempted to throw caution to the wind and just join the new on up the street. I wonder how long Mo would be mad at me for doing it......no, seriously...

Any differences yet???

Before....

So far......


Okay....so let me give you the back drop on this hot check to the right of me. She is one of my best friends, my youngest's godmother, beautiful, almost funnier than me... and the skinniest bitch I know. LOL. I HATE taking pictures with her and avoid it at all costs as is apparent by my lack of photographs with her through the years. I always feel like a 10 with her....as in she's the 1 and i'm the zero (as in round, no i don't really think i'm like..a zero, like a loser), except in these photos, I guess it'd be more like 01. LOL. Okay no seriously, I'm not self-bashing, its just the truth..and i CAN handle the truth (as long as it's sugar coated with pretty packaging).

Anywho. The first picture was about a year ago. A year and 2 months to be exact. The second picture was this past weekend. When I saw it I couldn't believe it. I actually....LOVED IT. Like I was happy with the way I looked and I had to do no photo-editing to it whatsoever..lol. I mean, it's still obvious that my cranium is like...10 times the size of hers..but I don't look like a godzilla next to her either. I wonder if this is how it will be. Slowly but surely I'll start to be more and more happy with photographs.....(we won't bring up the ones i took the next day when i was hungover and hiding eggs..lol)

Or is it...my age-old trick that I've always said....photograph from above someone's height not at someone's height to make them appear slimmer. And my photographer of the night was mo..who is obviously taller than me by a solid foot...oooh ooh, i found a loophole though...we were standing on a platform above him..so if anything, he was AT level with us..not above....definitely not below, but totally not above...YEA! oh the little things that get me through the pounds...night ya'll!

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Surrrriously ya'll. Don't be afraid to ask for exactly what you want. It's so incredible to realize who is listening. I had a horrible week last week. The time change really really affected me. Sunday I did some reflection and realized that i needed to start my new week the right way. This morning I woke up and all the way to work, I asked Creator for motivation, for determination, for strength to resist the temptation that comes every work day in the form of...MY SISTER (she's a sabatoger, not a supporter! lol).

It's almost ridiculous how fast it all happened. I had no temptation today...even WHEN looking at a chocolate pie, caramelo bar and powdered donuts (apparently, the breakfast of champions!)

And then it gets creepy. I get home and am ready to sit down for a minute and instead walked right over to the dvr and put my WATP dvd. I did the 1 mile, then went on and did the 2 mile workout and then added on an additional 1 mile. I ended it all with some strength training. Ridiculous. I don't even feel exhausted. I muted homegirl on the video because she annoys me and stuck my ipod on so I was singing the workout away. lol. Oh my poor children and their precious little ears......

Anyway, I'm all caught up on the sleep I guess...and ready to tackle the week. I didn't weigh in last week, because really, I don't like it when other people hurt my feelings and why would I hurt my own on purpose...I'm not THAT rude....sheesh...so of course, I know I gained something...we'll see what I can do this week. I got a 10 pound goal by 4/12............

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

I have no clue what is wrong with me. Granted, I am working some long days right now, but really...I've had long days before and have always come back with a killer workout. Today I had dinner and then sat down on the couch with the intention to workout after 45 minutes. Ya'll..I fell asleep!! For almost 3 hrs. I mean, each time I tried to get up, I felt so heavy, groggy tired...so I'm giving myself today to just chill. maybe it's jsut coming down from all the hype of this weekend and the stress of finding out about my position (tomorrow is the big day!), I'm not even going to try to figure it out! I'm going to finish watching Biggest Loser and then hit the hay.

Tomorrow is a new day and if it's one thing I've learned is sometimes, you just have to let it go and not beat yourself up over something you can't change. Tomorrow is hump day and I am ready for it! Last day of testing and ready for whatever news awaits me. I absolutely believe everything happens for a reason so I will be ready for any and all of tomorrow. Wish me luck and send me "WAKE UP" vibes!

Scuse the mess

This is what a home looks like when you have 4 men, 3 women and 2 little teeny girls all trying to get firme looking for a pachanga...so excuse the background but let's pay attention to what's REALLY important..lol....Mama B has reached her first goal of 15 lbs by Mo's birthday. And if we're going to get all technical (which you really have to when you're on a weight loss struggle, oops I mean journey)...my official weight loss today is at 220.1...a total of 15.6 pounds lost. So happy. I'm back to the place I was last time I started this journey. And now I have to work extra hard to keep it moving forward.

My big goal for the week is to be under 220..which as I had started to say last time would be the first time in a long long time...I count like 3 yrs maybe. So let's get it started! I'm ready for a week of commitment. I did good yesterday...even with all the sinful food and cake and soda...mama B stuck to water..okay and a miniscule piece of cake with no icing..so I'll take that.

Anyway, let's see if the end of this week is a good one for me. I predict yes. Positive visualizations.....219..219...219...lol...

Not taking my work home with me....

What a day it was! You know, we are in the process of being told that several positions district-wide are being cut.....pinche budget cuts!! Of course they make this dramatic announcements and now tell us we have to wait until the 9th to find out who is getting cut...oh WONDERFUL....so that of course leads to an AMAZING work environment..only, not.so.much....so it just put me in a MOOD. But I was determined to leave all the nastiness as well as THE MOOD at work...I went grocery shopping. Loaded up on alll the goodies and then came home and did 3 workouts.

I did the Biggest Loser cardio workout. The Biggest Loser strength training workout and the Walk Away the Pounds 1 mile workout....yea..!! I feel so much better. Forget the period, forget the work stress, I promise to wake up in a better mood tomorrow.....

The Fit

That to the left..is not me...but that's the dress I finally tried on and bought for Mario's party this weekend. I have to say, I almost didn't recognize it when I went looking for it online..it looks so different on me, but it's the one. Ready for some great news.....I got it in one size smaller than usual. Size 18. Shee--yaaah. Granted, it's the size I was wearing before the madness started and I blew up to a 20 but who cares...its a size 18...and it fits..perfectly...and I felt good, no..GREAT in it.

I lost .5 this week. Not too bad considering I didn't feel completely successful this week. Didn't work out as much as I had planned and my eating was a bit off today but still.... .5...a loss is a loss, I'll take it and work really hard to get at least 2 by next Sunday (even WITH Mo's party the night before..hehe)

In any case, I am ready for tomorrow. The beginning of week 4 of this journey. I feel strong, ready Watch out to my competitors..I'm feeling it...purple just MAY be the winners this week! ;-)

TGI Almost F

It's been a looong week. My sister started working with me at my school. Which is great! She's doing a really good job. But I AM the older sister (I won't say big) and am also bossy, a perfectionist, and anything else that will excuse me from not only doing my job all week, but also running around after her to make sure she's doing hers right. To be fair (to me, of course), schools are not the best training ground. You are expected to jump in, with both feet, galoshes and go to war...okay maybe war's not the best example when dealing with a bunch of "problem" children, but you get the point. So I've been shadowing her so that she can ask me anything she might need to when dealing with a kid who refuses to take off his blue shirt...or chasing pot smokers...you know....stuff...

So anyway, let me tell you, if my pedometer would actually WORK, it would prove that I have probably walked well over 15,000 steps each day....but I'm sure its registered like 132 or some other stupid number..(last week when I did 4 miles...which should have been 8,000 steps...it registered 1,132...STUPID!)..bottom line is, I have been WORKING hard....add to that, this ridiculous cold and my favorite Aunt stopping in a couple weeks early, I can't WAIT for tomorrow....or should I say...tomorrow at 4pm.

But have no fear, I have been staying on the ball. Not as much working out as I would have hoped for, yet, but I have the weekend to make up some pointage......lol..new word...pointage...use it, live it, love it.

DUUURN IT

My thighs are KILLING me! I have been in so much pain today. NOT the day to sport the pointy toed heels, I'm telling you! I have been in so much pain all day...it's the good pain. I keep having to remind myself of that! lol.

But I still came home and handled 3 miles and an ab/arm strength training workout. Tomorrow is the day to wear tennis shoes, let me tell you!

Way to Go Partner!!

My partner and I won the weekly challenge on our fitness/mommy board! I am so proud of us! I have the best partner. She has had a lot of struggles, like many of us trying to lose weight and has decided to make the change to change her life. We are similiar in so many ways, mothers of two beautiful girls (plus I get the extra boy..hehe), wives to husbands dealing with keratakonis, and still keeping everything together and that makes us a great team. We balance each other out and I can always count on her for support. I know it was a tough news and you might feel down and out, but remember why we're doing this and why THIS time is THE time. Week 3 here we come! :-)

Project Runway

Does anyone watch this show? You know Ricky, my latin homeboy who is ALWAYS crying. I love him. Sure he's a llorona (is there a male version of that word??) but you know, sometimes you just want to cry. Last night I caught up on some past Oprahs and of course, that woman moves me to tears every time. She went over the whole concept of positive thinking and visualizing what you want. As always, it made me think.

This morning I visualized myself doing a mile. But when I went to pick out which workout I was going to do, I knew today was the day of 4 miles. And 4 miles I handled. The first two I did in a walking, cardio, kickboxing workout. It was awesome. The second 2 miles was in a power walk which I wanted to quit halfway through but maybe it was the whole visualization or maybe it was my little shadow laying on the floor coloring and cheering me on, I knew I couldn't show her that I was a quitter, so on I went. 4 miles and handled our group challenge and then did an additional 175 situpts. I feel fantastic. I smell, quite the opposite. I also need to handle that. But sitting here, I feel almost, proud. Is that weird? Or wrong? It feels almost boastful, but I'm so proud of myself. And I won't say it out loud, I'll just let you all know. It's the pride that moves you to tears. I'm taking back my life even if it's a mile at a time.

My goal for this week is to wake up and do the 1 mile challenge at least 3 times and come home and do the 2 mile challenges 3 times and do the strength training 3 times. I will do it! And I will probably cry after every workout...just cuz I'm a llorona like that!

Off to the showers!

Weigh In Day

Good morning...I woke up with one eye half open and stumbled down the stairs to hit the scale. I ripped off my sweat pants because really, we don't need the extra bulk and they say to always weigh yourself in the same thing every week...and jumped on the monster that we call a scale. Are you ready for it?? A loss of 2.8 pounds. I'm pretty proud of myself...I said I'd be happy with 1-2 pounds...but really was hoping for 2....and here's a little bit more to give me that extra umph for the day.

I do have to say though, that my competitive side kicked in and I thought geesh, I'm so close to 3, why didn't I get 3..and then i released that thought. Sure I could hop on the potty and "release" that last .4 but I'm at the weight I am this morning for a reason and I'm okay with it. Better than that, I'm good with it.

I'm off to have a light breakfast so that I can get in at least a mile this morning. (Did you know that you burn off more fat/calories if you eat something and then work out as opposed to working out on an empty stomache. I forgot why, but I paid attention that much in nutrition class.) I am going out of town for a wedding shower, but I can't neglect myself or my partner. Today's our final day and we are so close I can taste it! ;-). Happy Sunday everyone!

And a walking I will go....

I got up at the butt crack of dawn this morning to have some me time. I should have given that thought up years ago because two seconds later, my little shadow that I call Iliana was with me. We cuddled on the couch and watched a movie, Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Halfway through the movie, mini-er me, Adelita, came down and announced she was HONGRY and wanted SURREUL. So I got up and made us all a healthy breakfast and we finished watching the movie. I, of course, cried. What can I say...I'm a wuss. Anyway, after the movie was over, I put in my WATP video. I first did the 1 mile and then realized I was still ready to go. So I added on the 2 mile workout. I did a total of 3 miles and added on my crunch workout on the end. Yea!! I'm feeling great and it's not even 11. Woohoo!

So I'm off to take a shower, seriously my stench is offending even ME and heading over to my parents house. It's been a minute since they've seen the kids and my dad reminded me of it this morning. So as always, his wish is my command. Have a great Saturday ya'll. Be smart!

WATP and Chili's

I got a new video yesterday. It's not the one to the left, but it's the same chick. Walk Away the Pounds. It's a 5 workout dvd and let me tell you all. It is GREAT. You so need to get one, any one. There are like hundreds to choose from it seems, but get one and USE IT. There are light workouts for the times you are in a rush and heavy workouts when you really want to get serious. I had a blast doing it today. I felt the effects of it but didn't want to stop. Note: You may want to get a set of light handweights as she does incorporate them into her workouts, but they're not mandatory.

And I had a restaurant success today. I went to Chilis with my comadre after letting the kids PUMP IT UP....my favorite food from here might very well be the Nachos. You know, the appetizer that contains 1570 calories and...are you ready...wait for it....115 grams of fat....OH.MY.HECK. It's really bizarre, the foods that I had no problem at all sticking down my throat and thinking I was giving myself a "treat". Yikes.

So today, I thought I was doing great by ordering the turkey combo. It's half a turkey sandwich and your choice of a soup or salad. Good thing for Biggest Loser giving me the advice to not be afraid to be picky. I specified the sandwich to have no bacon, no mayo and mustard on the side. And I asked which dressings were low fat for the salad and requested it on the side. Thankfully! It seemed like they brought me half a cup of salad dressing. I portioned out 2 tbsp and sprinkled that over my salad...and when they brought my sandwich..you are not going to believe what was on my plate...PINCHE STEAK FRIES!!

oh goodness. I said THIS comes with the combo? And they said, ya, the deal is you get half the sandwich, but you still get the fries and a salad. I feel bad for the poor shmuck who orders this meal as is and thinks they are DOING GREAT by eating a salad. I immediately asked for a to-go box and dumped every last fry into the box. I also took half the swiss cheese (did you know, swiss cheese has the lowest calories, fat content of cheeses?) and dumped it in my salad. Ooh, another tip....eat your salad first!

I felt succesful. Two glasses of water and I gave myself a high five and big ole makeout hug on a job well done. Add my workout on top of it and I do believe I am ready for weigh in tomorrow!

At Peace...

It's just how I feel. I went to find an image on google images. I typed in at peace and this is the first image that came on. Isn't it so very fitting? Really, I'm almost near tears right now....it's such a sign from Creator.

Before you all think I'm crazy...on Sunday, I went to a healing ceremony for a friend of ours. I went through a quick sweat and after a while the ceremony began. It's a long ceremony. Obviously, my thoughts and prayers were mostly filled with prayers for our friend and his family. But I have to bashfully admit, that in the 3 hours, I did some prayers for myself. I know I don't have any serious ailments. Nothing that can or needs to be fixed with a procedure or modern medicine. But I had such a burden on my heart. So sick of trying and trying to succeed at something and ALLOWING myself to fail. I want this this time. I thought last time was THE time, but it wasn't..THIS was it. I'm ready.

I prayed to Creator to help me get healthy. I asked Creator to give me the strength and the will to be strong, resist temptation, put myself first, take care of myself, take pride in myself, love myself more than I love all of those around me put together. That's a hard prayer to say. You feel greedy, selfish, self-serving. At least I did. But there are just times that you need to be. You can't love someone(s) so much that you put their needs/wants/health before yourself. You can't care about others to the point that you are hurting yourself. You have to love yourself more BECAUSE you love them so much. Because I want to be around for so long.

I need to fix my daughters' veils when they get married. I need to beam with pride when my son graduates from college. I need to sit next to Mario on a rocking chair in our front yard when we're old and gray (or grayER for him) and look over our grandchildren playing in the yard. These things I need to do. There is no ifs ands or buts about it.

Lastly, I asked Creator for patience. This will not happen overnight. I'm convinced it will take a year, perhaps two for me to finally have a lifestyle where I am happy, confident, healthy and successful. But it will happen. This week has been a snap. NO temptation. NO desires or cravings. I've stuck to my meal plan and upped my workouts. I've taken the long way to the potty. I've parked further in the parking lot. I've ordered McDonalds with a grilled chicken salad and balsamic vinegar and only ate a couple strips of the chicken and gave the rest to Mickey. I've been in a restaurant and ordered not only what I wanted but what was the best/healthiest for me to eat from that sin-filled place of temptation! ;-)

It honestly wasn't until I saw that picture right now that I remembered that I had asked for all of this. I was so overcome with my emotions for my friend that I completely forgot that I had made the step to ask for something just for me. I remember now the ancestors telling us all that we would have a blessing soon. This was mine. I'm so thankful. So incredibly, completely, tears brimming over thankful. It is true. You get what you ask for. I'm so grateful that I asked. I hope you all can do the same if there's something you need. Wishing you ALL the inner peace that I currently feel. It's such a blessing and a gift. Thank you Creator.

Everyone needs a quickie!

Where's the smiley devil face when you need it? Get your minds out of the gutter people. I'm talking sit-ups. My group had a 10 minute situp challenge on Sunday and I did...notsogreat. So today I had done cardio for 40 minutes and had to get 10 more minutes to earn my extra 2 points...so I challenged Mickey to the challenge. Never...ever....everevereverever....go up against a 14yr old jock. lol. Off we went.

My goal was 300. I made 307. But to my credit, I did full on side situps and Mickey (okay okay, he got over 600..whatever!) did crunches..soo..in my head, I'm soooo the WINNER!! lol. No but I more than doubled my amount from Sunday, and met my goal..and above all, put in just a little bit more work to get what I wanted..I like it. I feel good.

I have tomorrow and Friday off. I'm going to bed early (if 1030 is early) so that I can take advantage of every minute tomorrow. I plan to stay on track with the eating no matter WHERE we go, Mama B's packing some heat..and by heat..I mean a bento lunch of HEALTH. lol...so I'll let you know how that worked out for me....

Toodle-dee-dee!

STUFFED!

Something was stuffed for dinner and it wasn't me! Ya'll, I used to have these when I was a kid and I loved them. Stuffed bell peppers!

They're just the food that brings back "home" for me, kwim? So I tried making them years ago when I was first learning how to cook. They were a DISASTER. Mario hated them so much, it's the only thing he's ever asked me never to cook again. So I didn't.

The other day, I was flipping through Family Fun magazine and I saw my comfort food staring back at me. Too funny that it wasn't french fries, or a burrito, or a double juicy cheeseburger for once. It was a bell pepper in all its glory. I decided Tuesday would be THE night. I would do it. Mario has class on Tuesday nights so I'd be alone to cook in peace without the cara that surely would have accompanied the news that "stuffed bell peppers" was for dinner.

The good thing is that while the peppers were boiling (uh, the step I missed the last time I made these), I got to get a 30 minute workout in. Yea!! (It is also helpful to find a 14yr old child that calls you mom and is trying to make up for getting in trouble, to check the peppers for you every 10 minutes). So there I was dancing to this CRUNCH video. Uh has anyone ever tried these videos? So it's this white chick right (no offense, some of my best friends are white!--famous classic, i'm not racist line, right?--no but seriously, my dad is white, so step off). Anyway, there she is doing the latin party urging me to get LOCO. Seriously, I've never felt so uncoordinated before in my life. I mean, you can't have party music on in the bakcground and then instruct me to do the mambo and the cha cha...give me something I can work with! But I digress, the point is, a workout was had and 2 points was earned for my team..hollar!!

After I finished my workout, I came to finish my dinner. Now that I am super smart and stuff, I omitted any oil, butter, etc. A bit of cooking spray goes a long way. A bit of low-fat spaghetti sauce, goes even further..and measuring out your cheese gives you the taste, without the guilty feeling and frequent lactose-intolerant potty breaks. Anyway, long story short, my peppers were then baked and they.came.out.DELISH. The entire family agreed (minus Mo, he's still in class). But my biggest food critic (she comes in the form of a 3 year old and answer to Tita) ate every last bite on her plate...uh whuuuuut? So I got a healthy meal. Made an extra one for lunch for tomorrow and have gotten a little taste of my former "home". They came out bomb. I'll give you Mario's review when he gets home, but only if he's nice.

Toodles!!

WEIGH IN DATE

I weighed in this morning since I forgot yesterday. Minus 2.2 pounds. I think it might have been more. I feel..shall we say..stopped up...and it's making me nauseous. I didn't get as many fruits/veggies yesterday as normal I guess..and my water intake went from 130 to 64oz so that might have added to it, but either way..I feel ready to yack. No matter. 2.2 pounds. I'm good with that.

It's another week tomorrow. I have a 4 day weekend next week so I am super pumped!

Okay..seriously, I feel sick. Bye. (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!)

TGIF!!

WOO HOO!!! It's been a great week but/and I'm so glad it's Friday!!! I've started this team competition on a board that I frequent and i love it....it has got me on FIRE!! I have turned down so many temptations and rethought things so many different ways. It helps that I have the best partner EVER who is overcoming so many of her own obstacles and has made a life decision to be healthy!

So far (1st week competition ends on Sunday)..we are in SECOND PLACE! Woot! (PURPLE POWER!) I am so proud of us. Even if the weight isn't FLYING off, we are definitely making some positive changes and that is great.

I'm trying this water thing. I've been drinking about 125 oz of water everyday. And pee-peeing a lot. LOL. But I've also had more energy and my skin is looking pretty fly if I say so myself. It also helps that i have been trying trying trying to get some extra sleep. I'm upstairs by 9pm now once the girls are down. I don't fall asleep until about 1030ish but it's still an improvement. I have tons of shows to catch up on someday on the dvr..if I ever get around to it.

So this week was a major improvement on the food/water issue for sure. I've gotten some minor exercise in but I'm ready to step it up I think. I went back to the very strict Sparkpeople plan. One day I will be able to eat what I want within reason, but today is not that day!

Food Plan: Day 2

I have to say, it was great being back on track today. I must have been doing something wrong because today I ate everything on my list and didn't want anything else. I mean, don't get me wrong, there was really NO reason for Mo to have leftover snickers cake in front of me;-) but I'll forgive him only because it was his birthday cake....and he's 30 so I'm sure it's like a mid-life crisis or something..hehehe! xoxo!

Here's what tomorrow has in store for me.

Breakfast
1 cup diced cantaloupe
1 cup milk nonfat
1 cup cheerios
.5 bagel
1 tbsp cream cheese light

Lunch
3 serving turkey bacon
2tsp yellow mustard
2 slice whole wheat bread
4 slices red ripe tomatoes

Dinner
1 whole wheat hamburger bun
2.5 oz ground turkey
1 chocolate chip cookie
4 slices red ripe tomatoes
2 cup shredded lettuce
1 slice American cheese

Snacks
15 grapes
.75oz whole wheat hard pretzels

And here we go!

Mijo and I went grocery shopping after I spent 30 minutes of figuring out a food plan for this week. I'm going strictly off Sparkpeople and not improvising in any way this week.

So here is my food plan for tomorrow. 2/11/08 (feel free to steal--this will keep you well under 1300 calories (closer to 1200) and in all healthy areas of nutritional values)

Breakfast:
.5 Banana
1 Yogurt, Yoplaight Light, Strawberry and Banana
2 slices Toast, whole wheat
1 tbsp Jelly

Lunch:
2 cups lettuce leaf salad shredded
.5 can Tuna, Canned in water
8 Whole Wheat hard pretzels
.5 tbsp Kraft Mayo light mayonnaise

Dinner:
.5 green bell pepper
2 oz flank steak
2 oz colby cheese
2 flour tortillas
.5 cup salsa

Snacks:
.5 Banana
.5 oz Tortilla Chips
5 tbsp Salsa

I'm Frustrated!!

No matter how hard I try,I can't get better! I was fine yesterday and woke up today feeling like crap. I feel like the kids and I keep passing this back and forth to each other. Note to self: Next year..........EVERYONE is getting the flu shot!

Weigh in--1 pound weight gain in the last two weeks. I'm not impressed. But in my defense..I have nothing.

TGIF--almost!

All I need to say is thank goodness it's almost Friday. I am so happy for this week to be over. It has been a bad bad week and I have noone to blame but..everyone else, just kidding..ME!! ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEME! I take all the blame. I haven't made time to make lunches and my wonderful bosses have been buying me lunch..which I totally appreciate of course....but tacos de carne asada and pizza is probably not at the top of my list..right?

Anyway, starting next week, I have a full hour after work to workout before I pick up the girls. I now officially have no excuses. The sun is shining, testing is almost over (1 more day), no more wrestling, no more rushing around. I should be good to go!

With that said. I'm looking forward to a long weekend of rest and relaxation. One more Saturday of wrestling and that's pretty much all I have planned. It's been a long week of sleepless nights and let me tell you..this cara is NOT looking pretty....ugh.

See..I Told You So

When you don't hear from me....I'm not doing so hot.

Okay well to be fair, I'm not doing too bad either..but mostly because I am sick. I will say I'm not doing well because I'm eating about 1 meal a day. It has been a ridiculous week at work and next week will be more of the same...my job tends to be on the slow side most of the time, unless its testing time...then...it's long hours and lots of stress. And since I'm not feeling well, when I get home, I just crash....

However, I'm going grocery shopping today and will presort a bunch of snacks and meals to make this week easier for me. I'm hoping my honey does his part to help us out and cooks some good meals on the days I can't be here to do it.

I've had a really bad cold I guess, and am worried that I went straight from a cold to a flu because my stomach is very very sour right now. yuck. BUT to get me through the stress of this week, I promise to workout 30 minutes a day. I'll need some me time to destress and will attempt to eat more than one meal a day....I promise!

Oh I forgot to mention in here, but I am going to an every two week weigh in. I don't want to be a slave to the scale so my weigh in dates will be Saturday mornings and my next weigh in is next Saturday. See you then!

JK I will be checking in this week if anything to post my workouts and food goals...

adios! super bowl is on ;)

The Dinner of Champions....

Apparently I get sick and all sense of sensibility goes out the window. I think I may have bronchitis. I haven't eaten a thing all day and when Mo had to run around picking up the kids and I hadn't come out of the cave I had created on the couch with my blanket, he offered to pick up dinner. The thought of food repulsed me until they called from the McDonald's drive-thru. But see, I showed SOME restraint. A happy meal. lol. Dinner of Champions.

Anyway, wish me luck at the docs. I'm maknig an appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I can just get a shot and call it a day! (Not Tequila)

Weekly Weigh In: LMAO!

So remember my mantra...a loss is a loss? I had to TOTALLY remind myself of that this week. I have eaten perfectly, worked out 3 times..and my weight loss this week was an ASTOUNDING 1.1 pounds....lol. All I could do was laugh. I'm not even going to try to figure it out, just keep plugging away.....I'm going to just focus on the loss and not the actual number. But REALLY...1.1 pounds??...good grief!!

Rain or Shine BABY!!!

Seriously, what's a little bit of rain, right? Like I mentioned earlier, Mario wanted to wait until after dinner to go workout. So an hour after we ate, we were all set and ready to go. Warm clothes? Check! IPOD? Check! We were all ready to go...and then..we opened the door. Why had it been perfectly clear ALL DAY and the minute we're ready to go.....raining. So we stare at each other and Mo, gives us the kick in the butt that we need and said, let's do this. So...another sweatshirt? Check! Beanie? Check! And we're off.

I can't even imagine what people must have thought of us. There were a lot of people driving by and there were Mo and I running. It was actually really nice, minus the extra cricks in the knees that I'm certain were caused by the rain. And, I can say, that I feel officially ready to move on to week 2 of Couch to 5k. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly running or anything...but I'm not gasping for air like I was after the first run. Honestly, if it weren't for my bad knees and ankle, I could probably have gone for another 20 minutes...my body is just feeling the effects of this extra weight. I know it's not going to get better until it gets worse so I gotta just keep on trucking. And Mo did his very first day of Couch to 5K! Wahooo. So I'm going to do week 1 for one more week so that we can be ready for Week 2 at the same time.

Okay, well I'm off to watch Grease with the kids...they're killing me...eating popcorn...sheesh! I know it's late, but we didn't wake up until very late today for the first time in at least the past 6 years.......adios!!

One day left......

Today ends the end of my one week of absolutely no cheating. I have to say. I think I cheated yesterday. So that makes me sad. But I'll let you guys be the judge of that.

Knowing that I had Mickey's wrestling tournament to be at after work, I planned out my foods for the day accordingly. I knew we'd have to eat out for dinner, so I planned on picking up two grilled steak soft tacos, fresco style from Taco Bell. ((For those that don't know, you can order fresco style for almost anything at Taco Bell. What it means is they take off the cheese, sour cream and just put a simple pico de gallo sauce in place of the fat...lol. Two grilled steak soft tacos are 320 calories and was definitely under what I had left for the day.))

So my point is, I planned. I even packed a whole lunch bag of yogurt, apple wedges, granola bars and almonds for the girls so that we wouldn't be tempted to hit the ever-tempting snack shack at the match. Well...the match turns out to be a tournament. Which .is.LONGER. To make matters worse, it was POURING rain outside and I couldn't bring myself to make Mario go hunt down a Taco Bell for me. So I snacked on some almonds and drank 3 bottles of water just waiting it out.

I kept hearing them announce FRESH HOT PIZZA at the snack shack and HOT DOGS ARE READY at the snack shack and BUY A HOT CHOCOLATE at the snack shack. By the time we left the school it was almost 10pm...and I had to drop off a couple of mijo's friends. So there I am at 10pm eating my dinner. Granted, I fell below my nutritional maximums for the day..BUT...I don't eat after 8pm...like EVER..like even a grape. LOL....so I ate 2 hours past that. I was so tired too, I even told Mickey, I wonder if I should just go home and go to sleep and he yelled at me MOM you HAVE to eat!

I guess my choices were to buy a piece of pizza at the snack shack before 8pm or wait and eat a litle bit better late at night..i know for sure the fat in the pizza blows the fat in those two soft tacos out of the water! I don't know, I feel like I made the right choice, just bummed that I didn't stick to my very strict 8pm guideline.

In any case, today is another day. Mo and I are going to work out together tonight. This is a definitely a lesson in compromise. I wanted to go this morning but he'd rather go tonight and in order to get him a part of this, I gave in to tonight...so we're doing some cardio AND some strength training..(hence the compromise, I'll wait until later...but he's going to have to do more than just cardio! lol)

Anyway, I love that the weekends aren't just blown to crap anymore. I really think about everything I eat. It's so important....

Uh..OKAY! (Part II)

Lmao. Mario and I had quite the experience this weekend. On Monday, we decided to go gym shopping. The first gym was nice. Smaller but brand new awesome equipment (complete with Bob the treadmill!). So we got all the information. The guy's name was "Chad"...of course it was and he was like TOTALLY gnarly..but still a cool guy. No-pressure, etc.

AND THEN WE WENT TO GYM #2.......lol. oh my we should have stopped at Gym 1. It was everything we didn't want it to be. Okay so this chick gives me the third degree about who I made the appointment with, etc. and I kid you not...she had one eye that totally wandered the whole time. And I mean, I'm not trying to hate..you all know I'm down with MY PEOPLE..but seriously, who taught this girl how to talk. "Okay so um ya, like I'm going to show you the cardio room....so like that's it and uh..ya. Okay and there's a pool, okay ya and then there's like a raquetball court..so YA and there's tanning beds for all of our members, so like do you guys want to join OR WHAT". We were like uh..OR WHAT. This girl was a hot mess...and slightly chubby (not that I'm one to judge) but when she looked me up and down and was like "I mean, you like totally need to work with trainers because you know, like uh we know what we're doing and could help you lose weight..so YA". I was like uh....YOU? or that chubbIER trainer we saw when we first walked in that gave Mo THE EYE....ugh. After 20 times of trying to let La Lazy Eye know that we were NOT signing up for her smelly, raunchy gym we walked out of their cracking up....goodness gracious!

My second not so funny-at-the-moment-but-funny-now story happened to me today. I went on my jog/walk in the parking lot by myself again. Only this time it was dark outside. Probably stupid to go because I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't getting jumped....which I didn't...UNTIL...I got to lap 7...whereupon I met HIM...a pinche perro. Ya'll..a pitbull looking perro..looking at me like homegirl, you need to get to stepping. I had no clue what to do, so I slowly turned around and walked away....I get to the end of the driveway and make the mistake of turning around to look through the fence..and all I see is PINCHE PERRO running straight towards the way I had just left..girls...let me tell you. I didn't realize I was as fast as I was.....I took off RUNNING, like RUNNING! I guess by the time he reached the exit, he couldn't tell what direction I went because I didn't see him again.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, don't run in deserted parking lots..because if you aren't worrying about some creepy creep creeping up on you, you will be haunted by pinche perro....

The end...

I'm Back!--Part One

First off, I want to say what I couldn't say for the last few days due to our DSL being knocked the heck out!

I am good. I'm back. Totally. Like I said, Mo jumped on this bandwagon with me and so far we have been doing fantastic. We are at the halfway point right now and I am proud to say that I have not cheated or slipped or oops'd once. Top that off with not 1 but so far 2 workouts, I am feeling pretty good! Aaaaaaaaaaand stick the cherry on top of my boss telling me that I looked thinner today, well, I'm not sure what angle she was checking me out from..but shoot, I'll totally take it.

I wanted to touch on the moment I had on Monday. Off we went for a family day to the track. Mario was folding laundry at home and I was finishing cleaning up after breakfast. He told me whenever I was ready, to let him know and he'd go to the track with me. Well, about 30 minutes later I tell him I'm ready and he was out the door! lol. We loaded the girls' bikes and decided to make it a family day.

So we're at the track and Mickey is of course running circles around both of us, Iliana and Tita are bouncing between riding their bikes and screaming YAHOOOO everytime one of us passes them by. Mario is walking/running and I'm doing the Couch to 5K deal. At one point, I'm walking my 90 seconds and I look across the track...I guess at some point, Iliana had decided to join papa and they were RUNNING! Mickey and Tita were playing together at this point and I was just overcome with a sense of WOW. Noone else was as lucky as I was at that very moment. To be able t oshare something so simple as working out and getting the whole family involved....it's just a far stretch from where we've been and I didn't take it for granted fo rone moment.

I wanted to also note how important this blog is to me. Knowing that there is a place where I can say the things I won't even say aloud is so very important to me. Having friends that are here to hold me accountable and support and cheer me on and up is amazing. This feeling is better than anything I could achieve at any meeting. I will always get back on my feet because of this blog and because of you (even you, my silent readers...MO!).

Oh Happy Day

Take 2: The internet is down. I guess its our entire area, due to the storm. I wanted to post so that ya'll don't think I'm curled up in a ball contemplating life.

We are doing great. Even with an extra day of vacation, we stayed right on track and even had a family day at the track. It was awesome and one of those moments that stands out in your head.

I have so much more to say but not from this phone...lol

1st Breakdown of the Year

I'm sure there will be many more, but hopefully not like the one I had yesterday. I finally watched the Oprah on weight loss that was on last week, the other day. It just stopped me cold. The weird thing is, there was nothing I hadn't seen before or didn't know, but it just stopped me. I knew that I wasn't in the right place to do this. Not by myself at least. I want to. Oh my gosh how badly I want to. I'm finally in a place where I just can't live like this anymore. I've become a person that I don't like anymore and that is a first for me in my 30 years of life. I've become a "wear sweats to work everyday" kind of girl because I can't stand myself in regular clothes. No matter what I do, I feel gross. And not to be big-headed, but I've never seen myself like that. I've looked at myself like, ya I need to lose some weight, but I still felt pretty. Those days are gone.

I don't want to live my life being the one to take pictures because I don't want me on film. I don't want to be the one who doesn't want to play with her kids because I have a headache. It's weird that this all hit me when I had been losing weight and doing so well, but really, I've had a lot of days when I've eaten "one thing" that I shouldn't have and if you add up all those "one things" I was sabatoging myself.

I did the STUPID and weighed myself midweek this week. I gained back the weight loss I had from last week. I knew I'd gain back soemthing since that weight was loss mostly by yacking up my insides. But still, I was down in the dumps.

So I stayed quiet for a couple days. Trying to figure out what I was going to do. What I need to do to succeed. Last night I broke down to Mo, my soulmate. I told him flat out, that I can't do this without him. I can't be doing good and then have someone ask me at 10pm if I want ice-cream. I know he does it to be thoughtful, but it kills me! I do better when we do things together and we need to do this together because like what I saw on Oprah is that this has to be a life change, not a diet. I hate the word diet anyway. Well Mario and my kids are my life. If they aren't on the same page as me, then this isn't a life change, it's a B change and this isn't just about me.

We talked and talked and of course, because he is my life partner and could feel my pain, agreed to get on the ball with me.

So we're back to the basics, the things that worked for us last time when he lost 30lbs and I lost 20lbs. We're going back to the Sparkpeople.com preset food plans for a couple weeks and then slowly reintroducing our own likes back into it. But the best part is we're doing this together. I HAVE to write down every last thing that goes in my mouth if I want to stay on track. So I will post that here.

I'm working on our food plan for the week and then will get my grocery shopping, etc done. I'm scratching last week from my memory. I need to be the person I've always felt like and seriously, if I have overcome in my lifetime, this too shall pass......

Okay, I feel better.......actually I felt better last night after I talked to Mo but I wanted to make sure I got this down in my journal so that I could remember it.

Not a good day

And that's all I have to say about that. TGIF. Have a great weekend friends...

~~~****~~~~

Stealies!!

Mi amiga has this little tally at the end of her blogs where she posts her workouts, etc for the day. I love it and I'm stealing the idea...GRACIAS L!!

Today was a long day. I had NO NO NO NO NO DESIRE to workout especially after having to wait 30 minutes longer than usual when picking up Mickey..but I did it. And i'm so proud of myself. I found this parking lot right here by my house that is huuuuge..and empty..and off I went. I loved it. Very private. There was one other older man that seemed to have the same idea as me but it was good. I felt a little safer.....we wished each other good night when we were down (he totally was there longer than me!) But I finally downloaded the actual Couch to 5K podcast and it is soo much better than trying to keep track on my stopwatch. Let me relax and just focus on the workout..and trying to catch my breaf (even though the music makes me feel like I should have a glowstick in both hands! lol).

Oh..when you all download the podcast and hear it...hilarious There's this one part where the guy is like right now you should feel the run..but should not be tired or out of breath....I'm like uhm.....SURE!
**************************************************
Workout: Couch to 5K podcast: Week 1--30 minutes

Por Favor...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah my blog got erased. I'm too exhausted to repost. The jist of it is that I only got 3 hrs of sleep last night and I want to cry. Oh..and Tita is sick. Nothing weight loss related...all TOTALLY health related.

My Lifelines...

.

Me and my girls getting our sweat on. Well, I got my sweat on...they bounced around me, giggled and smacked my booty when I was doing lunges....either way......we had a great time and I got my biggest loser workout in! lol. GOOD things happen in three!

STOP THE MADNESS!

Ladies and...I'm assuming..ladies. LOL. You see that little thing on the bottom right side of my blog. The number thing..that shows me how many of ya'll love me and come check me out every day...So...since I see 100+ log-ins and NOT 100+ comments, I'm going to have to ask that you please stop stalking me. LMFAO! JK. I'm not THAT paranoid, but suuurrriously....drop a girl a line from here to there please...otherwise I'm going to think you're all sitting back in your comfy homes, laughing at me. And really..that's JUST not nice....and I may have to resort to finding a tracker that will also gives me your social security number and blood type so that I can track you all down....

Thank you. I'm off to go grocery shopping and then working out while the hubby makes dinner...he's THE BEST!! and while we're on the subject....so are you. seriously. xoxo

What I could have done better....

So by now the world knows I've been sick for a couple days and my tummy is on near empty. Anyway, after mickey's wrestling matches, we usually pick up Subway. But today, we grabbed that dirty burrito I wanted last week. And while I only ate about 2/3 of it, I realized, I could have eaten 1/3 of it and been at a 3 (is that the right number, G?) But now it's 10:47 and although I had fallen asleep at 8:30, I am now awake with a painful tummy and a burrito stuck in my throat.

It's a process, but I'm learning. Before I would have scarfed the whole thing down with not a blink of an eye. I guess one step at a time, right? Tomorrow will be better....

Weigh In: Week 2

Weighed in today. -4.5 for a total of 9 pounds. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure a solid pound of that came from me being so sick yesterday and most of today....so I'm going to have to work my tail to keep that off this week and still have an additional loss.

Wish me luck!

Tummy Watch: 8pm...

Life.is.not.fun.right.now. I guess I need to eat, but the thought of it is really disgusting me. I tried soup. notsogood. Wish me luck. I can't miss work tomorrow. Oh heck.

Something horrible is a brewing....

And it's in my stomache....omg ya'll. I am soooo sick. I have been in the bathroom all day and this short little blog is taking forever to write because I need to keep running to the bathroom. UGH.

I was ALMOST excited about doing day two of my C2K plan in hopes to overcome the soreness that is attacking my bones...but I'm thinking today might NOT be the day. There is no potty at the tracks...

Not such a pretty face......

LMAO! Putting all sense of pride and dignity aside, I am showing you all what a REAL woman looks like after a workout. You always see these hot chicks on tv, sweat dripping off their bodies, looking all gorgeous.....well here I am..in all my glory, immediately after my workout....

Please note the fatigued eyes, the bright red, dotted cheeks....the frizz coming off the side of my head. Ignore the eyebrows that need to be handled because that craziness is not a result of a workout, moreso the result of not having adequate tweezers on hand.

In any case, I had a dream last night. One I have very often. It's my running dream. The details are always different, but the main theme is always the same. I'm running..like Mr. Forrest Gump...RUNNING!!!! No pain in my shhhest, just running. I love the feeling of this dream. I feel like I could do anything and go anywhere, like I could keep running forever. I've never ever (even in my athletic days) been a runner. Not a natural runner, but I always have been in my dreams.

Uhm... and then I woke up. And I decided to start my Couch to 5K plan today as I promised yesterday......not.the.same.as.my.dream. My shheeeest hurt, I was sweating, breathing hard, wanted to spit (since when do I even know how to spit??) lol. Anyway, a hot mess I tell you. But I did it. 27 minutes later, I was done. Completed workout 1. I'm waiting to see if it's going to get easier (TELL ME IT's GOING TO GET EASIER!!)

Oh before I forget. Gina!! You were in my dream. We were hardcore working out together..so....get on it girl! lol!

TGIF!!!

The weekend is here and it couldn't have come any sooner! I am beyond pooped. Getting adjusted to my normal life is rough after 3 weeks of easy-street. I didn't realize how busy I was at work and then with my "after-hours" job as a taxi driver, personal chauffer, whatever it is you want to call me. I prefer the crazy lady that drives around town picking up child after child who all insist on calling me mommy....

So tomorrow begins the first of my "real" workouts. I am determined to complete this Couch to 5k plan that my homegirls on the LF board have suggested....I'm hoping to get my fellow comadres on board....wouldnt it be awesome if we were rocking a 5K in 9 weeks?? So that is my goal. The family is going to sweat but I can't because my favorite AF (tia floja, i like to call her) is in town...so I will be venturing over to the track instead. And I went ahead and promised Iliana a trip to the park to try out her new scooter and I try to never break promises to them which is why I purposely did that so that I must keep my word (funny how much easier it is to keep my word to those little ones than to myself...only...not so funny)....so I am determined to STAY on track.

Tonight we are eating Nemo for dinner. It's this seriously deranged way I got the girls excited about eating fish..yes...only my children would run through Disney yelling, I'm EATING NEMO!! And they wonder why people look at us funny...

Hi...My name is B...and I eat my feelings...

Seriously, what a moment of awakening these last two days have been. So before you all get crazy and try to jump me..I will say that I, in fact, did NOT eat my feelings, but omg how badly I wanted to. And it's not even that anything MAJOR was happening..I was just in a bad bad mood...grumpy, tired, etc and all I was thinking was...SON OF A MOTHER i have a salad for lunch. I mean...it was a wonderful salad and all (I love Trader Joe's) but good golly, Senorita Molly, a whopper would have so comforted me even more...

Last night..same thing. Seriously, I was cock-blocked...only that's not the right word..I was burrito-blocked. LOL. I left the choice up to Mickey as to where we would pick up food from--our original plan was Subway. I did this KNOWING he would pick burritos and oh my heck did I want one...and yes! My plan worked..he picked burritos...and wouldn't you know it...the only taqueria in any close proximity to his preppy school was CLOSED! UGH. Angrily, I drove to Subway and was much better for eating my healthy sandwich..

So today...as I'm just WANTING my hamburger, I realized..DUDE, I'm such a comfort eater. I thought that was so generic--like every fat's girl excuse for being fat and when I visualized people "comfort-eating", I got totally disgusted because I pictured someone gorging on burgers and fries and shakes and boxes of cookies...but that comfort eating is looking for food to make you feel better. That's what I was doing. And I had no real reason to be grumpy, but there I am, putting my momentary happiness in the BK...ugh..give me a break!

Seriously, I am SO dramatic sometimes....lmfao..omg I am giggling at the thought of me crying into a pinche whopper...LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

El Diablo

Comes in the form of this box on the left......Look at it. It's so deceiving. I mean, the name alone says health right? Special K. Not ordinary K...SPECIAL K. And look. There are strawberries. That's a fruit....good for you, keeps you regular, the whole 9 yards. And looky...only 90 calories! That's 10 calories less than all those 100 calorie packs that are all the rage. So what's the problem??

THEY TASTE LIKE CANDY!! And I love them so. Thank GOODNESS the box only had 6 and I had already eaten 4 throughout the weekend, week...because if I could have, I would have eaten ALL 6 last night. They have this amazing icing coating. They're crunchy and fruity and sweet all at the same time. It's so freakin awesome. So a word to the wise...don't get these little sinful treats..because as we all know, everything in moderation....I'm sure they are good for you..If you eat one..however 90x3 is 270 and really..that's more calories than you need to eat in a barl...lol..and that's how many I would eat if I could.

So I got some dark chocolates from Trader Joe's today...if ever I have that ridiculous chocolate craving that I seem to get everytime my favorite Aunt is here for an extended stay. The good thing is that I can really only eat just one. And it'll be enough to cure my craving. And dark chocolate has been giving incredible reviews by all the health people lately..so there you go.

Okay...don't forget biggest loser tonight..it's 2 hrs long! I can't wait!!

Weigh in 1: January 7th

So I repeated my mantra in my head...a loss is a loss....a loss is a loss....and plopped myself on the scale. I lost 4.5 pounds....now I'm at 230.5. Hopefully next week the 230's will be gone forever.

Bob has left the building....

Due to circumstances beyond my control...Bob is no longer coming to my home. All my hopes and dreams were crushed when Mario called me out of town to let me know. No ya'll, I mean, I was seriously depressed. See..this is part of my problem. It is SO easy for me to get deterred. I was lying in bed with my babies thinking, just forget it all...I can never do this without my magic machine. And then I fell back asleep and woke up again and said WTF is wrong with me. One pinche machine? A belt that moves when you walk? I'm giving up for THAT, get over it Ozuna...you can do this with or without the machine.

So although I am still horribly disappointed, I have a short-term goal. I am going to give it 6 months of trying it on my own, saving up the actual cold hard cash and then reward myself with Bob...till then I'm going to have to rely on B.

I've also done some reading this weekend and I think its going to be best if instead of shooting for 2lbs a week, or 3 pounds or whatever, my goal is to lose. period. A loss is a loss. So that I don't get frustrated and angry, etc. a loss is a loss. So tomorrow is the big day. Let's see how it goes....

And then Mother Nature called.....

and mama was PISSED! Our vacay plans got derailed MAJOR....let me start at the beginning...

It was 4am. I was sound asleep and was suddenly woken by a blood-curdling scream. My heart lept out of my throat...I screamed for Mario. He and Nana met halfway down the hallway and she was just screaming and screaming. Mario gave her to me so he could run and get Tita and she was just shaking. When I finally got her to calm down, she told me through tears that a monster was trying to get in her room and was shaking her window. We looked out at the window and sure enough...it looked like a pack of monsters were trying to get into my room too! Only they were trees shaking so hard. I've never seen wind/rain like that in San Jose. It was nuts.

This morning, I turned the news on to hear about 75-125 mph winds. Trucks were tipping over on the freeway. Roads/freeways were blocked off due to accidents, flooding. At last count 275,000 people were without electricity. My heart dropped. I didn't want my mom to lose all her timeshare points but really...I was the one who had gotten voted to drive all the kids there and there was just no way I was going to be responsible for that. After a couple hours and things getting worse..it became clear...we were staying home. We're going to see how the morning is, but for now, home is where the heart is..and where the pants stay dry. We have been hit by not 1 but 3 storms at the same time. Crazy right??

So I didn't get my bomb workout...we went bowling and the most I worked out was my thumb. LOL....but seriously, here are some pictures from SJ Mercury so you can all get an idea of what we're dealing with...

VACAY!!

So tomorrow, my girls and I are packing it up for a road trip....and when I say my girls, I mean Nana and Tita...and when I say roadtrip, I mean somewhere 2 hrs away. LOL. We are going to a small little town just to get away for the weekend before I have to head back to work. My sister and her boys are going as well as my mom and my sister's "mother-in-law".

We have gotten the news that a snowstorm is hitting this weekend where we are going. Which means, it will be too stormy to get to the snow and too rainy where we are at to get out and about. Our plans include many many board games and a trip to a casino which is about 40 minutes from where we are staying. It comes complete with a bowling alley and arcade for the kids and of course some slot machines for mama B.

Only my luck isn't all that. In fact, i do believe it's non-existent. And my sister is soooooooo lucky. She will hit. I guarantee it. And i'll have to pretend to be excited for her. lol!!

Okay so but really...the coolest part of it all is..that the resort we are staying at has a pretty cool gym. So I can promise you all that for the next 3 days I will work out for 30 minutes. I gotta get my rear ready for the arrival of Bob. I had to run across a huge parking lot today in the rain with the girls and I was all out of breath...not so cute.

Oh and speaking of my girls...I so understood what the contestants on Biggest Loser meant when they said they wanted to lose weight before their kids realized that they were fat....uh TOO LATE! Today my sweet little first-born who put me through 37 hours of pure torture and pain to get here, politely tells me today that I have to do some essersise because I'm short (that means fat to someone who has never heard the f word)...and she said so I can be sessy. I said I'm not sexy right now? She said no mommy, you're pretty but you have too much weight, you need sexy weight. *Siiiiggggggggggh* Tita looked at her, gave her caras and said, "MY MOMMY PWETTY! Sessy is naked and my mommy NOT naked!!" Which, my friends, is exactly why that little girl is getting everything when I die. Remind me to change my benefits on Monday...

JLO Knows...

Everyone knows that Mrs. Anthony is not on the top of my list..but noone can argue with her body..homegirl knows what she's talking about. I remember reading a typical interview with her when they asked her how she keeps her body in tip top shape and the very first thing she said was that she always got 8 hours of sleep. And I'm like uh MUST BE NICE..but seriously, that is sooo doable. And I'm sure it starts with not staying up until 230 am just becausr you're on vacation. Dude I swear, I have this complex where I think that just because I'm on vacation that it means I HAVE to stay up late....good grief. So I have spent the day with a sick Tita and an exhausted body and realized that tonight..I need to add getting 8 hours of sleep to my list because I am not going to be able to live up to Bob's standards if I don't get my rest. So tonight..I WILL be asleep by 11pm and up by 7am tomorrow. And I would ASSume that once works starts I will have to make that time even earlier.....so..if you see my online after 11...block me. hahaaaaa!

Here's hoping for a more productive day tomorrow..although I will say I did pretty good eating-wise. And of course Mo helped me out by bringing Subway for dinner....the commercials are true. The best option!

Out with the Old!

I celebrated New Year's with my Cuban comadre who shared with me her tradition of getting rid of a bowl of water at midnight in an effort to let go of the things you wanted to be rid of. I sat there with my bowl for a second thinking and then realizing that Mickey was just WAITING for me to throw the darn bowl, I tossed it. You can see in the picture, I mean I THREW it. Out with the old. I'm ready for that. It's more than just anything physical or superficial. I realize that for this journey, I need a completely new mindframe. A completely new train of thought.

I am a perfectionist. Mario says I have serial-killer tendencies. I think he was being funny...I THINK. The downfall to wanting everything done exactly right, is how easy it is to give up if one thing doesn't go according to your plan, your schedule, your itinerary. So I'm starting small.

Step one. Clean out the fridge and the pantry. Getting rid of all the holiday cheer. I've gotten jolly enough, let me tell you. I am working on my food plan for the month because it was too exhausting to do it weekly. And my first short term goal is to go one month--that's 30 days--with no excuses, no diversions, no oopsies. One month. I should be able to do that right? No excuses. That's going to be tough. So is typing on my broken laptop so excuse me if this has a million errors, I can't see the screen. (long story).

Anyway, out with the old. Except when you get rid of something old, you have to replace it with something new. Hence my visit to the grocery store. ha!

2008....is starting off great

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It has begun....

Like my profile says, not to brag but I am a pretty darn great mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I love taking care of you all and putting you as my #1. When you hurt, I run to find a cure. When you're sad, I stick my clown-nose on and make you smile. When you're happy, I grab the closest box of kleenex so that I can cry tears of happiness for you. And I love to do it, because I love all of you. Just as I am fortunate to have all of you love me like you do. And because this just seems to be a mutual love society, I am calling upon all of you. Like Jerry Maguire says..help me, help you. Only...help me!

One of my many many goals for 2008 involve my health and the improving, maintaining of it. This blog is a piece of that journey and you, my captive audience are responsible for ensuring that I stick to my blogging. I WILL post my successes and please celebrate with me..and I will inevitably post my failures. Get my rear back in gear. If you have seen a week go by with no post from me, please be assured that I am sitting somewhere stuffing my face and most definitely not exercising. This is the time to text me, call me, nag me, hit me. This blog is my written permission.

So off I go. 2008 is here. I am following the typical masses and vowing to lose weight in this year, but i come equipped. I have the tools (Sparkspeople), the motivation and the support system (ya'll)...oh..and courtesy of Mario---come January 12th or shortly thereafter, I also have my new best friend (sorry comadres)....please meet our newest family member and my machine that I have already adoringly named Bob (yes, from Biggest Loser)...(see image above--I'm new to this and can't figure out how to put the picture here --->).

And so it begins....weighing in at a sturdy 235 pounds (I just saw several biggest loser contestants with the same weight :( )... I am off. I will weigh in every Sunday morning and that weight is as off this morning.

2008...is gonna be great!
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